The Bad Mod Job Squad

As I was cruising back from dropping my wife off at work this morning I saw what looked like a slightly modded WRX in my rear-view.  There was something off about it, but I assumed it was that they put some tacky mods on it.

Even with some tacky mods, I still like the WRX.  I think it's one of those cars that are just made right.  It's on a short list of cars if I'm given the opportunity to buy it, I will.  Little to no thought is really required in this situation.  Though between you and me I'd much rather an STi. 

But let's not quibble over the details.

However, as this supposed "WRX" approached I began to notice some details.  The hood scoop, was a shoddy glue on job from a crappy after-market parts catalog.  Not only that but, it was bordered by cheap red LEDs.  The head lamps had a Dollar Store rip-off of the Audi LEDs surrounding them too.  There was a one of those wings on the back that boosts your car by 50 HP per foot it sticks over your roof.  The tint job looked like somebody stuck a straw under the film and purposefully blew bubbles in it.  As he passed, I saw what looked like a Playstation One wired into the dash.  Naturally there were tribal stickers all over the trunk with what looked like a Folgers coffee can stuck over where the exhaust used to be.  And he was really driving a debadged 2.3 Mazda 3 5-door.  A decent car, now turned into a nightmare.

Now, a couple of criticisms come to mind.  And since you are reading this blog, I will assume you have taste. Naturally, you know where this is going.

If you're going to modify your car why don't we follow some hard, fast rules that will keep you from looking like you're an 8 year old drawing your dream car with a 64 pack of crayons on construction paper.

Mismatched rims are stupid.  If you can't afford all 4. DON'T BUY THEM.  Wait until you've saved up enough money.

This has been purposefully done and I found it over on a Honda Tech forum but really, I think it looks like shit.  Match your damn rims!

Giant wings.  Seriously?  Can anyone please explain the logic to me?  I've got a $5 Red Robin gift card I will give someone if they get me a first-hand account from a Civic driver, or a Galant driver that slapped one of these bad boys on the back.

Thanks to user largeprimenumber on Flickr for this shot. 

Also, as the amount of aftermarket chrome you stick on your car rises, your asshattery increases exponentially.  Now, granted this is only a theory of mine.  But really, how much of an idiot are you to go buy and X-type Jag and then cover it in chrome plasticky bits from Auto Zone?  Feel free to stroll over to Putco's website and take a look at what you should never, ever buy for your car?

Never add under glow, LEDs, crappy art or graphics.

Anything more than one sub-woofer in a car is excessive.

If you are driving a 92 Civic, you really don't need an exhaust tip to announce your arrival.

Stop putting TVs, and video game systems in your car.  Your driving, not living in the god damn thing.

And on and on...

I guess what this all boils down to is, don't mod your car.  You're probably going to screw this up so why bother?

If you can't make it classy and look like this from over at Audizine:

Then you shouldn't mod your car.  


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